When Angry, Do Not Sin

I have just finished reading yet another article from a Christian source suggesting we need to confront conflict in order to resolve it. It said in short that if we don't resolve the conflict, it will fester and build up steam until we explode and someone gets burnt.

I would suggest another resolution to this situation.

Quite some time ago, early in my Christian walk, a book was suggested to me called, "Make Anger Your Ally." I was aggrivated with the book from the beginning, as the author began by describing the various methods by which people deal with their anger. He did not mince words while telling the reader each of these methods was rooted in selfishness. Then I read it. He said somewhere near 95% of the time we are angry it is because we are not getting our own way. How dare he?! I was so angry I threw the book and did not read it again for a very, very long time.

But it stuck in my craw, as they say. I began to examine the situations in which I was angry and ask myself, "Truly, am I angry right now because I am not getting my own way?" Indeed, the answer 95% of the time was, "Yes."

I could not escape the truth.

There are certainly times we should expect to "get our own way." For example, when we are dealing with our children, we are right to expect them to obey us. We are responsible for their safety and for teaching them and therefore, we must have first time obedience. If we are in a position of authority in the workplace, we should be able to expect our subordinates to comply with orders.

However, in every situation where we are the subordinate, we do not have the right to expect our demands to be obeyed. If we are cranky, it is generally because we are not getting our own way. And, one must ask one's self, "Why do I feel that I have the need or the right to impose my will in this situation?"

Generally speaking, these articles relate to marriage. Therefore, it seems to me the heart of the issue is whether one accepts their position in marriage.  The Bible tells us clearly to subordinate ourselves to our husbands. (Ephesians 5:22, 24; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1 among others) In other places we are admonished to submit to the Lord. If we are submitted to the Lord, we will live according to His Word, and His Word tells wives to submit to their husbands. Ergo, if we are not submitted to our husbands, we are not truly submitted to God.

I have not yet mastered this concept myself, however I do scratch my head in wonder at believing women who counsel other women that it is advisable to ignore the Lord in this.  We have as example, the countless times the Israelites refused to submit to the authority of the Lord. We have in Jesus' own words that the one who loves Him will obey Him (John 14:15). He clearly takes authority and submission seriously. So who are we to dimiss this when we are angry about something? Could this be, at least in part, that to which He was referring when He said not to sin in our anger? "When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down." (Ephesians 4:26)
 Pause in writing, because....

Quite literally, even as I write this, I am helping my children to resolve an interpersonal conflict because each wants their own way. I ask them each why they feel they should have their own way. I ask them why they feel they have the right to expect to get their own way. And then I remind them that we are instructed to esteem others higher than ourselves. Who is willing to be the kinder person? Rose relents, but is still angry. I remind her she is submitting but with a wrong heart and unpure motives, she needs to let the anger go. "HOW!?" she whines emphatically. ("Lord, give me the wisdom I lack in this moment, because I fail at this daily!" I pray quickly and silently.) And then the words come from somewhere within... "Whatever is kind, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good report, think on these things." So we go through the mental exercise of recounting things that make us happy. Satisfied and happier, she goes back to play.

Perhaps next time will be a bit easier for me, as well?

Love of the Brethren

Throughout the Old and New Testaments we are called to holy living. (see Lev 11:44-45, 19:2, 20:7&8; and 1 Peter 1:16 among others) We are told repeatedly that God expects this of us, if we call Him “Lord.” (1 Peter 1:17, for example)

Hebrews 10 tells us that we are made holy through the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. Here Paul tells us that “by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified,” thereby indicating that we are justified immediately, but that sanctification is a process.

We are to remain pure and holy once we have been cleansed. But how? Our instruction fills the New Testament. But, what I find interesting is that in the above referenced passages which speak directly to our living holy lives, these verses are followed immediately by exhortation to loving the brethren.  For example, in the Hebrews 10 passage, we are told that because of our having been sprinkled with the blood, we may enter boldly to the Holy of Holies with a clear conscience and a body purified by living water. Immediately thereafter we are told to hold fast to our faith and to consider how we may stir up one another to love and good deeds.

In 1 Peter 1 we are exhorted that as obedient children we should be holy in all our conduct since we have been redeemed not by corruptible things, but by the precious blood of Christ so that our faith and hope are in God. Immediately this is followed by, “Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, ²³ having been born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides forever.”

We are charged again and again to obey and to love. Three times in John 14 Jesus tells us that if we love Him we will obey Him.  And we are commanded to love the brethren. By this outsiders will know that we are His disciples.

Taken together then, we are commanded to live holy and sanctified lives. We are holy because of the sacrificial death and resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ. If we have accepted His redemption by faith, then we have been purchased by the incorruptible blood which has purified us and made us holy, sanctified to Him. If we Have been sanctified and made pure, then we are to live holy lives of obedience. And Biblical precident says that if we are to live holy lives of obedience, then we must love the brethren and consider how we may stir one another up to love and good deeds.

So, I ask you, in what ways do we as born-again, Bible-believing Christians stir one another on to love and good deeds?

I was astounded recently, when a fellow Christian informed me that my child does not need to make a “project” of being friends with another child whom the adults assume to be a challenge.  

We have been raising our children since they were toddlers to go out of their way to make sure others do not feel excluded. If they see a new person in class who might be shy, they have been taught to go say hello and introduce themselves, and perhaps introduce them to their friends.  They are not allowed to leave out any of their siblings in games or play, including even the baby.  

How would I explain to my child that it is appropriate for her to not care if this particular child feels left out of “the brethren” if it is a challenge to be their friend?  Is that really what we want to teach our young people?  Could it be that this lack of love for the “difficult” is what outsiders see when they look at us? "By this they will know that you are My disciples that you have love one for another."  We are no different than the world when we tell our children they can choose to be obedient only when it is easy and sit out when becomes a bit more taxing.

This is a lesson for us all, not just the children. How often do we reach out to love the unlovely? I was challenged in this by the Lord through prayer at one point. Later, after I had made a half-hearted attempt, I held up my “accomplishment” to the Lord and was quickly brought down by the words, “You didn’t LOVE her. You tolerated her!”  Ouch! But, sadly, it was true.

I cannot say that I love and obey my Lord and my Savior, if I do not truly love the brethren - ALL of them.

Note: I do acknowledge that this is not the sum total of our call to holy living.  However, it is of great importance to the Lord, as seen by its placement in scripture.

Obedience is Key

We all consider the Lord to be our Rock, our Foundation. We all piously embrace the analogy of building our lives upon the foundation of Jesus Christ. We all assume that since we claim Jesus as Lord then we have done all that is required to have the Rock under us that will never allow our house to be washed away by the storm.

However, there is a key component which seems to be overlooked in Jesus' parable as told in Luke 6:46-49.  He is very clear in His introduction, yet we skim past the point. "Why do you call me Lord, Lord and do not do the things I say?" Ouch!

"I will show you what someone is like who comes to Me, hears My words, and ACTS on them:" We are then told that he is like a man who digs down and builds his house on a solid foundation.

In contrast, we are told in verse 49, "But he who merely hears and does not practice doing My words is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation, against which the torrent burst, and immediately it collapsed and fell, and the breaking and ruin of that house was great."

The difference is in the doing.

But, to what is He referring when He says, "My words?" The key is in the previous verses. His analogy immediately follows the "Sermon on the Mount." In it we are given instructions on Holy living. We are instructed to be Holy as He is Holy, and here we are told how.

Many studies could be written on each of His teaching here, but for the sake of this writing it is sufficient to say obedience is the key.

We are further told four times in John 14 that if we love Him we will keep His commands. Clearly, He takes our obedience seriously, as it is an indication to Him of our love for Him.

But why? Because obedience is a sign or marker of our trust in Him or our faith. If we don't trust Him or believe Him, we will not do what He tells us. If we trust Him to be who He says He is and do what He says He can do, then obedience will follow. We will be accutely aware that He desires the best for us and so, even if we do not understand why, we will be obedient to follow His commands.

How frustrating it is to observe in our own children the lack of faith in us required to obey.  Often they stop and consider whether our intentions for them are what they should desire for themselves. However, they are extremely short-sighted and want what they want right now. As their parent, we are more aware of the long-term goals or consequences for them. They may want to eat cake for breakfast, because it is good right now. We as parents know that having cake for breakfast is not healthy and will have consequences later.

So too, our Father in Heaven knows the beginning from the end. He knows what is best for us long-term. Our Father knows not only how our bodies and our spyches work, but also how our spirit works and matures, and He wants the best for us. He desires to grow us and matures us.

Obedience requires submission. He says to us in the Luke account, "Why do you call me Lord, Lord..." He is asking why we consider Him Lord and Master, yet we have not sumitted to Him in obedience. We cannot grow strong and build on a sure foundation without submitting to obedience to His commands.

Ours is a God of "If...then." IF a person loves Me THEN he will keep My commandments; THEN I will reveal Myself to him; THEN he will be loved by the Father; THEN we will come and build our home with you.

Obedience is the key.

A Sobering Lesson in Obedience

Did you know that the Word of God tells us that we are responsible for the souls of those with whom God instructs us to share the gospel and we don’t? What a sobering thought. If the Lord is leading you to share the gospel with someone and you disobey, you will be held accountable.

Consider:

“⁴Then whoever hears the sound of the trumpet and does not take warning, and the sword comes and takes him away, his blood shall be upon his own head.     ⁵He heard the sound of the trumpet and did not take warning; his blood shall be upon himself. But he who takes warning shall save his life.     ⁶But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet and the people are not warned, and the sword comes and takes any one of them, he is taken away in and for his perversity and iniquity, but his blood will I require at the watchman's hand.“ Eze 33:4-6

“¹⁷Son of man, I have made you a watchman to the house of Israel; therefore hear the word at My mouth and give them warning from Me.     ¹⁸If I say to the wicked, You shall surely die, and you do not give him warning or speak to warn the wicked to turn from his wicked way, to save his life, the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood will I require at your hand.     ¹⁹Yet if you warn the wicked and he turn not from his wickedness or from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity, but you have delivered yourself.” Eze 3:17-19

“But,” you may say, “I am not a watchman.”

Consider:

“That you are not [consciously] falling behind or lacking in any special spiritual endowment or Christian grace [the reception of which is due to the power of divine grace operating in your souls by the Holy Spirit], while you wait and watch [constantly living in hope] for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and [His] being made visible to all.” 1 Cor 1:7

^“17And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God.     ¹⁸Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God's consecrated people).     ¹⁹And [pray] also for me, that [freedom of] utterance may be given me, that I may open my mouth to proclaim boldly the mystery of the good news (the Gospel),” Eph 6:17-19

“So call to mind the lessons you received and heard; continually lay them to heart and obey them, and repent. In case you will not rouse yourselves and keep awake and watch, I will come upon you like a thief, and you will not know or suspect at what hour I will come.” Rev 3:3

We are called to watch for His coming, and as in the passages in Ezra, we are called to warn others of His coming.  We are called to speak to warn the wicked to turn from his wicked way and to save his life.

Several years ago as a relatively new Christian, I went with a fellow Christian to visit at a nursing home, and we were to have a ministry meeting following a Bible study with the residents. At the end of the study, one of the senior ladies, whose salvation was questionable, asked my friend to take her for a walk (she was wheel-chair bound) around the grounds before he left. As we were to have a meeting, he declined. The Lord prompted me, “You take her.” “I can’t Lord, You see I have this very important meeting and people are waiting for me, blah, blah, blah.”

The following Tuesday evening when we returned, I learned she had had a stroke and was unconscious in the ICU.  Further, she had suffered the stroke early on Wednesday of the week before.  The next Tuesday, sadly, I learned that she had passed away.

The Tuesday evening she had asked the Christians simply to take her for a stroll was the last opportunity she had to hear and receive the gospel. The Lord had compelled me to take her, but I was much too busy with my important ministry work; too busy doing what I wanted to do for the Lord to consider doing what He was telling me to do for Him.

According to the Ezra passage, I will be held accountable, not only for my disobedient rebellion, but also I will answer for her soul.

It was a sobering lesson. When the Lord compels, obey. You will never regret being obedient, but you may regret a disobedience. I pray that mine did not cost that woman her eternal life.

“¹⁷So faith comes by hearing [what is told], and what is heard comes by the preaching [of the message that came from the lips] of Christ (the Messiah Himself).” Romans 10:17

She could have heard it, but I was silent.