17The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing. Zeph 3:17

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Hallel u Jah, Praise to Yahweh! "I shall declare the works and recount the illustrious acts of the Lord."

Before Passover, it is common for Jews to recite Psalms 113 and 114. Following the Seder, they recite Psalms 115-118. Together these Pslams are known as the Hallel, or “the Praise.” (Hallel u Jah - Praise to Yahweh)  In verse 17 of Psalm 118, we read, “I…shall declare the works and recount the illustrious acts of the Lord.”
This Thursday is the 8th birthday of my eldest child and her story is nothing short of miraculous. I will extol the Lord, and recount his illustrious acts to the Praise and Glory of His Name for all the world to hear!
Very shortly after my marriage to my husband, I became pregnant.  However, In December of 2002, I lost the baby. I remember crying out to a friend and telling her that I could accept it if the Lord told me “No, not this child,” but that I didn’t think I could handle it if He told me, “No children at all.” Although I was a relatively new Christian, I was painfully cognizant that there are among us those who feel that to not have children is a curse from God. I wanted children, but felt judged by Christian women for not yet having children at 33.
In early February of 2003, our local church held its annual Missions Conference. As I was still grieving my loss, I hesitated to go, but decided at the last minute I would attend the ladies’ Missions brunch. It was a lovely affair with bright and colorful decorations and a delicious “Pot Blessing” meal.
After brunch, our host introduced the speaker. Her name was Noelle Dembele and she was from Africa. She began her talk in her African dialect and paused for her interpreter to tell us what she had said.
“In my country the worst thing that can happen to a woman is that she has no children,” she began. The tears welled up and swallowing became impossible. “They consider it a curse. But God’s Word tells us differently. In Luke 1 verse 6 it says, ‘Elizabeth and Zeccariah were righteous before God, AND YET Elizabeth was barren.’” There was no holding back the floodgate of tears. I will never forget her words as long as I live.
When she had finished speaking, her interpreter invited us to come and meet her. My friend said, “You HAVE to go talk to her. Come on, I’ll take you.” And so she led me up and waited in line with me. I explained to her interpreter that I had recently lost a baby and so appreciated what she had said. The interpreter leaned into Noelle for a moment and Noelle’s eye met mine. With that, she reached out and grabbed my stomach and began praying. She got louder and louder and more intense. I was feeling quite conspicuous, but politely held my ground.
Upon finishing, her interpreter told me, “She prayed that by the end of the next Missions Conference, you would have a child so that you would know that the Lord answers prayer.” I thanked her and left.
In my mind I did the math, and realized that in order to have a baby by the following  Febraury, I would need to conceive no later than June. When June came and went, I was devastated and assumed the Lord was telling me “No children at all.” I spent the weeks to follow grieving the loss of hope. I cried to the Lord long and hard, and finally prayed for peace and the ability to accept His decision.
I was reminded of a book I had read with my family when I was young. It was called Hinds’ Feet on High Places. In it the main character, “Much Afraid” wanted desparately to climb to the mountain tops with the Shepherd, however her legs were crippled. The book is an allegory of her journey and the lessons she learned along the way. During her journey, Much Afraid must, on numerous occasions, build an altar and place on it her deepest desires.
Upon remembrance of this, in my mind, I built an altar and placed there my desire for children. For the first time in months, I felt peace. Praise God for answered prayer.
A couple of weeks after this turning, I was speaking with a couple of ladies after church and one of them said something about my children and caught herself, “Oh my!” she said, “You don’t have any children. I’m so sorry!” I replied, “That’s alright, it’s up to the Lord,” or words to that affect. As I said it, I realized that I really was alright with it. There was complete peace.
Little did I know that when I uttered those words, I was already likely expecting. That was in July.
The pregnancy itself could not have gone worse. I began having complications immediately, and spent 7 of the 9 months on complete bedrest. I was able to get out once a week to go to the doctors and once in a while to get to church.
At 21 weeks, I went for a routine ultrasound. I was very excited that my husband was going to be able to see her, as he had taken the afternoon to go with me. Unfortunately, we got stuck in traffic and were late to the appointment. The nurse told us we would have to reschedule. My heart broke. As she could read the anguish in my face, she invited us to wait and, “If the couple scheduled after you doesn’t show up, we can go ahead and do it.” And so we waited, and I prayed.
As God would have it, they did not show up.
We went into the little room and got ready. The nurse began the test, but turned to me and said (or yelled), “Put your feet up and DON’T MOVE!” And out she ran. She came back only a few seconds later with the doctor in tow. He went pale when he looked at the screen. She was already in the process of being born. (Please note, if the other couple had made their appointment, we would NOT have known!)
He sent me to the hospital a block away and they prepared me for surgery. As they were preparing me, I could hear the doctor and nurse arguing because he wanted to go into surgery right away , as it was late in the day. She was telling him that it was protocol to monitor the baby’s heartbeat and they needed to wait for the equipment to hear it. He was adamant and said, “If anything happens to the baby, we aren’t going to try to save her anyway!” And with that I fell asleep.
Before I even opened my eyes, I screamed, ”Where’s my baby?!” The nurse who was wheeling the gurney by my head put her hand on my shoulder and said, “She’s still there.” I praised Jesus aloud all the way down the halls!
Seventeen weeks later on April 12, I bore a very healthy baby girl and named her Rose.
The doctor said in his 35 years of practice, he never gave her a chance. He did not believe until he was holding her that she would survive.
Oh, and in case you thought the Lord was late, I found out DURING my pregnancy that our local congregation has Missions Conference in February. The denomination wide Missions Conference, the one with which Noelle would have been familiar, ended April 19 that year.
Rose was indeed born before the end of the next Missions Conference and I DO know that the Lord answers prayer!  AMEN AND HALLEL-U-JAH!

4 comments:

  1. Amen and AMEN!!! Love you Cindy!! I am actually doing some of my own grieving and sacrificing... as marriage seems to be beyond the horizon, I can't see it; and being 38.... well, i know women have children in their 40's...yet having a child seems to be even further behind that horizon. I am coming to grips with the high probability of not having my own. I know the Lord knows... and He is my Husband... it is a grieving process. I lack no good thing. I am trusting Him; everything we have is a gift from Him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good Morning Tammie! I have often thought of you and the conversations we had regarding relationships. Each time Ido I send up a prayer for days afterward. I continue to be in awe of you and the sacrifices you have made in order t be obedient to the Lord. You have sood as an example on more than one occasion for teen girls that I have spoken to on the achievability and importance of waiting on the Lord for his man for us instead of the one we may choose for ourselves.

    I remember more than one relationship you released based on your father's counsel. I have studied women being under the authority of men for many years and I can think of no greater example of the sacrifice that we sometimes need to make in order to be under the authorities the Lord has placed over us. I am beyond confident that one day the Lord is going to bless your obedience to Him and to your earthly father in ways that will stagger us all.

    You have remained His pure and spotless bride and I know that you are a treasure to Him!

    Lord Jesus, I pray again for my dear sweet sister. I pray that you would bless her beyond ALL that she can think or imagine. I pray that you would fill her arms with love beyond measure, as You continue to fill her heart and soul. I pray that we all will one day soon praise your blessings on her. In the short meantime, I pray that You would continue to make Your presence known to her in very real and tangible ways. "Light, light light up the sky so she knows that You are with her...open her eyes so she can see You all aound her," and keep your wings tghtly around her.

    In the sweet and precious Name that is above ALL Names! AMEN AND AMEN!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Goodness! I'm sorry for all the type-o's. I hope you can read that ok. My fingers got ahead of me and I posted before I read it. Note to self - reread BEFORE posting! Now there's no way to go back and edit.ooops.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank You Cindy!! I love you girl and am SO thrilled you have been blessed so much... hope to SEE you face to face someday soon!

    ReplyDelete